


drunken confessions

by from_a_recklesswriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, Drunk Kara Danvers, F/F, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, we all miss Sam so here have a fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/from_a_recklesswriter/pseuds/from_a_recklesswriter
Summary: "What?""You didn't tell me she would be here.""Kara, this is Sam's party of course Lena is going to be here."or the fic where they haven't seen each other for so long, Sam throws a party, Kara gets drunk and everything is revealed.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 39
Kudos: 220





	1. Chapter 1

Her phone has been ringing ever since before she even got to the elevator. She knows who's calling. She knows why they're calling. She also knows that she doesn't want to answer. She watches the numbers on the panel slowly crawl down to the first floor lobby. Kara relishes the slowness of it all. Any other time and she would be itching to use her superspeed to get out of the office, but not tonight.

Tonight, she cherishes each step, takes the time to count each breath; tries to focus on anything other than what's awaiting her. She's not stupid, she knows _she_ would be there.

The ringing of her phone is getting really irritating by the time she's walking on the sidewalk. Kara lets out a sigh and fishes for her phone.

 **Alex [8:03]:** Kara where are you? Everyone's already here.

 **Alex [8:05]:** James is here, are you still at CatCo?

 **Alex [8:09]:** Kara??? You better have a good excuse for being late. Ruby's asking for you.

**Alex [8:15]: 7 missed calls.**

**Alex calling...**

"Hey, uhm I'm on my way."

"Kara you can fly what the fuck is taking you so long?"

"I-uhm, I stopped by at the pizza place." Kara was aware that they _do not need_ more pizza. Alex knows this too, but instead of prying about the oh-so-obvious excuse, Alex lets it go.

Kara thinks that she owes Alex one for this.

"Alright, fine just- IS THAT KARA? WHERE IS SHE? TELL HER TO GET HERE FASTER!" That was Sam's enthusiastic voice in the background. She can almost picture the way Sam's grinning widely.

Kara smiles, she's missed her best friend. Somehow, hearing Sam's voice kind of made her get going a bit faster.

Fifteen minutes later, she's standing at Alex's door, six pizza boxes balanced on her arms. Laughter and Nia's out of tune voice can be heard penetrating through the door.

Kara braces herself as she tries to knock. The door immediately opens and Ruby's sweet voice reach her ears.

"Aunt Kara! You're here!" she can't help but laugh.

"Yeah and I brought pizza!" 

Kara walks in, sets the pizza down on Alex's kitchen and then takes in the scene in front of her.

James and Winn are sat on the floor laughing at whatever Nia and Brainy are singing about; J'onn on the couch, a fond smile on his face as he listens in on the conversation; Alex and Kelly occupying the other end of the couch, Kelly's head thrown back in laughter, Alex too busy wiping tears of laughter from her face to notice that Kara had arrived. Sam did though, and was now walking towards her to envelop her in a hug. Okay, so maybe Kara made a mistake maybe, _she wasn't here after all._

"Kara! Oh my god, it has been too long." Sam murmurs as Kara returns the hug, "Too long is an understatement." Kara retorts as she hears a chorus of "Hey Kara's finally here!" from the background.

James and Winn immediately stands up from the floor and swarms over to where the food is.

"Kara Danvers, brought pizza, you're my hero." She hears Winn say and she gets caught up in the whirlwind that follows them to the kitchen as everyone starts to greet her and Ruby gives her a big bear hug again, and then she hears the bathroom door open.

A familiar heartbeat registers to her. It was so fucking close therefore so fucking loud in the small apartment.

Alex notices her sister's reaction.

"What?" Alex says at the look on Kara's face.

"You didn't tell me she'd be here." Kara whispers with an accusatory tone Alex notices.

"Kara, this is Sam's party, of course Lena is going to be here."

Kara does in fact knows this; knew it from the moment Sam called and told them she and Ruby would be staying a week in National City and would it be alright if she threw a small get together at Alex's before the week is up? She knows all of this, and yet she still doesn't know how she's going to face the person standing in the living room; whose heartbeat is ringing so loud in her ears, right this moment.

Fuck, she wants to jump out of the window and just take to the skies right now.

"Aunt Lena, look Kara's here and she's brought pizza!" she hears Ruby announce.

They haven't spoken in three months and in about three seconds Lena's voice is going to filter from the living room and through the kitchen.

Kara thinks she's going to faint.

"Yeah, I've noticed." It was a simple statement but Kara feels like it's everything.

Lena walks over to where everyone is and Kara is still frozen. Everyone around her were mingling and laughing and having a good time _and she's frozen._

She's frozen and staring at Lena.

The world fades away.

There's just Lena and her green eyes and her dark her. Lena, who's wearing a beautiful black top and jeans. Lena who she hasn't seen in for almost 100 excruciating days.

Kara doesn't know if she's going to throw up or cry.

Nia seems to notice this and flies to the rescue.

"Okay, champ, why don't you uh-go with me to the balcony right now." She lets Nia drag her out. When they reach Alex's balcony and the cold air hits; Kara breaks.

"Rao, I haven't seen her in so long, oh my god, Nia. I can't do this."

Kara was spiraling and she was panicking-

"Kara, calm down. Hey, hey. Look at me," Nia puts her hands on Kara's shoulders to force her to look into Nia's eyes.

"Here's what you're gonna do; you are going to take a deep breath. You are going to suck it up for Sam's and Ruby's sakes. You are going to socialize like a normal human being and-" Nia pauses removes one hand from Kara's shoulders and reaches for something.

Her hand comes back and a bottle is being thrust to Kara's face.

"And you are going to do that with the help of _this_."

Nia must've made a liquor run before coming here. Kara finds herself frantically and numbly nodding as if the rapid head movement is going to snap her out of it. She takes a breath and then takes a large swig from the bottle

Oh, it burns.

"Attagirl. You good?"

"Yeah, yeah. You're right. I'm gonna be fine. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Yeah okay. Okay."

Nia gives her one more sympathetic smile and before guiding her back inside.

Alex immediately flanks her sister.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Kara takes another swig.

"Oh wow, you're drinking. Okay, wow. That's usually me but okay- That's strong stuff. It's Lena isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Oh, this is going to be an interesting night."

Alex was right, it was indeed going to be an interesting night. But nobody knew just how interesting it was going to get.

* * *

Kara was having a good time, really she was. She isn't staring at Lena while Lena converses with Sam and intentionally talks about L-Corp stuff so none of them can butt in. Well, Kara says 'none of them' but in actuality she knows it's just her who isn't allowed to butt in.

She takes another sip and lets the alcohol burn through her. It was good, it was all good. Alex was laughing and she's laughing and are they playing Charades? Everything was going to be fine.

Yes, fine. For Sam and Ruby

Maybe opening another bottle would make things more fine?

Opening another did not make things more fine. Because the comparative version of fine is finer and not more fine and Kara thinks she's drunk, but it made the night bearable so-

Kara now felt floaty and light and happy. She even won at UNO! Although, she thinks she may have lost her friendship with Nia after that. But it was fine because she was having a good time, she really had missed Sam afterall. It was fine if she didn't let her eyes linger on the body sat next to Sam, anyway. It was fine if she didn't think too much about Lena's voice who speaks up every three minutes. It's fine if she pretends they didn't cut things off, three months ago. It's fine.

Kara's fine.

"Well, I think we should call it night. CatCo won't run itself." James voice cut through her haze and then everyone was standing up and cleaning up and hugging each other goodbye.

Next thing she knows is her body robotically going through the process of saying goodbye to everyone. Everything too slow and too fast at the same time. That doesn't even make sense does it?

She was dizzy and the walls were swirly and oh-

"Hey, whoa I think you've had too much to drink." The voice sounded far-away but so familiar. She felt two arms trying to support her up and drag her to the couch, she turned to see who was helping her.

"Hey! You look like my best friend!" Kara said, well, more like shouted.

"Oh, wow she is drunk." Sam says as she watches her two idiots of best friends interact in the living room. Kelly, Alex and her were in the kitchen trying to be quiet as they cleaned up.

"I know right? Nia gave her some liquid courage. Maybe it was a tad too much though." Alex replied, putting away the wine glasses and clearing the kitchen.

"Should we just leave them alone? I mean I know things had been _tense_."

"I think 'tense' is an understatement." Kelly retorted handing Alex a trashbag

"Agreed." Alex said as they tried to eavesdrop.

They know they shouldn't eavesdrop, but could you really blame them? Nobody knew what happened, just that Kara and Lena stopped talking to each other. Alex tried to coax out the truth from her little sister and Sam had flown in from Metropolis after Lena drunk dialed her and wept. But their attempts were unsuccessful.

Nobody knew what exactly happened and all of them were dying to know the truth. 

* * *

Lena had just sat Kara down, she was drunk. She's never seen her drunk before. Hell, she wasn't even aware a Kryptonian can get drunk but apparently-

"You look like her so much." Kara whispered. Right, and Kara was rambling that she looks like Lena Luthor. _Like my best friend_ Kara had said.

So apparently Kryptonians can get drunk and Kara still considers Lena her best friend. Well, that's a lot of information after no contact for over 3 months don't you think? God, what had she gotten herself into?

"I look like your friend?"

"Best friend." Kara had corrected, raising a finger as if to emphasize the point. They were sitting opposite each other. Well, Lena was sitting, Kara was just a slumped mess on the other side.

"She's my best friend. Although, her eyes are prettier than yours."

"What?"

"Her eyes," Kara says, "-they're prettier. Yours seem a bit dull. Hers are so, so green."

"Excuse me?"

"Mm-hmm, she has the prettiest, greenest eyes. Like Kryptonite." Kara lets out a dry chuckle and she had this far-off look in her eye as if reminiscing. Lena was still processing everything that is coming out of Kara's mouth right now. Kara's voice was dreamy but she wasn't slurring. So apparently her eyes are like Kyrptonite. Okay, okay, all she has to do is take deep breaths.

Oh god.

"I remember, she asked me once what was my Kryptonite," Kara continued whilst looking at Lena who was now frozen, heart beating rapidly but so invested at what Kara is going to say. "She asked me and I wanted to answer 'Your eyes.' But of course I didn't. Because she was my best friend and- and how does Alex put it again?-too cheesy? Yeah, if I told Lena that, it would've been too cheesy and also, I realized lately that she wasn't my Kryptonite anyway."

Lena tries to remember how to breathe. Kryptonite? What was she trying to say? God, Kara.

"She isn't my Kryptonite, because she's my sun. And I just- I feel so lost without her, but I can't see her. And it's all my fault. Rao, I miss her so much." Kara continued to ramble on, oblivious to how Lena is feeling, how Lena is fucking panicking because what the actual fuck is happening right now? Kara misses her? She misses her? She's her sun? Kara blames herself?

"I haven't seen her in three months, you know? I haven't seen my sun in three months." Kara looks back at her again, and Lena doesn't know where she gets the courage but she asks the one question that had been plaguing her ever since Kara dropped contact.

"Why?" Why Kara? Why did you stop talking to me? Why didn't you open the door when I came to apologize? Why? But Lena doesn't give voice to all those questions.

"Oh, I can't possibly tell you that. It's a secret."

Damnit, Kara.

"But can I tell you another secret though?" Kara asks voice small, slurring a bit and eyes shy.

"Sure, what it is it?" Why was Lena going through with this? What could she possibly get out of this? More pain? God, she was a Luthor. She was supposed to be a genius. Instead, she's sitting here listening to her drunken friend ramble because Lena had missed her so much and she's going to take whatever Kara is going to give her.

"Don't tell Alex this," Kara whispered but it was still too damn loud because she was too damn drunk "-but the reason I always get so distracted and late during patrols is because I hover at L-Corp."

"What?"

"Remember Lena? The friend I was talking about yeah?"

"Yeah?" Yes of fucking course Lena remembers. She was the friend after all, not that Kara was sober enough to realize but still-

"Well, she works at L-Corp. Technically she owns it. Because she's a brilliant woman like that. So anyway, Lena works at L-Corp and-" Kara's voice now has a sad tone to it.

Lena doesn't know how to feel.

"And sometimes, sometimes I just miss her so much that I hover at L-Corp. And I just stop there for a while. To look at her you know? But she never looks up though. I wish she would, I allow myself ten seconds."

"What?"

"Ten seconds." Kara clarifies, "Ten seconds where I get to see Lena and just listen to her. And her heartbeat. Sometimes, she's on the phone and I get to hear her voice. Those are happy days. Other days she's just typing so I have to settle with just staring at her. Ten short seconds of selfishness. Just ten short seconds. Rao, I just miss her so much you know? I know I should probably stop. Stay away from her for good. But sometimes it gets too much and she's all I want to see. Pictures aren't enough. So, I allow myself ten seconds."

There were tears streaming down Kara's cheek, but she was still speaking so clearly. Lena feels like her chest is going to explode from emotions.

"Ten seconds." Lena repeats, the implications of Kara's words hitting her full force. Kara hovers outside L-Corp? Just to see her? Oh god, how many times has she done that without Lena? How many times has Kara been there when all Lena wanted to do was run to her best friend but couldn't? Does Kara feel the same clawing ache every time? Lena wants to know, Lena wants to know a lot of things, ask a lot of things but she can't get the words out. Before she could open her mouth, Kara speaks again.

"Yeah. Can I tell you another secret?"

This time, Kara doesn't wait for Lena to answer not that Lena could answer anyway, since she was choking on emotions. "I know it's a bad thing, but sometimes I just wish someone would attack L-Corp again. And then maybe I'll get to save her. For longer than ten seconds maybe I'd get to talk to her. I wouldn't care if she's angry. I'd just be happy that her voice is directed at me again."

Now it was Lena who has tears down her face.

"Isn't that just so sick and twisted? I shouldn't wish for that, I'm supposed to be a superhero and yet here I am wishing for something bad to happen just because I'm so selfish."

"You're not selfish, Kara. I-I understand how it feels to miss someone that much. The longing to just see them again. I know how much it hurts." Lena doesn't know where the strength of her voice comes from.

"Y-You do? So ten seconds isn't selfish?"

"Yeah. You're not selfish,"

"That's good to hear. I just want her safe. I'd rather see her from afar than not see her at all. Rather not see her for a long time than see her dead"

"Dead?" What the hell is Kara talking about?

"You have to know, I'm not just doing this for nothing. I'm doing this to keep her safe."

"Safe? Kara, what are you talking about?" Lena's head was swimming around in confusion, what does Kara mean? Was there a threat? Oh god, was there something that Kara didn't tell her? Her thoughts were racing a thousand miles per hour.

"Come on, you've already told me two secrets. What's one more?" Lena presses on, because she has got to know if Kara had another reason to cut her off. She was going to go insane right this moment if Kara doesn't tell her.

"It's her brother."

Oh god, Lena is going to throw up.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara woke up with her head pounding but her whole body warm. Without opening her eyes she tried to stretch but found that she couldn't move. There was someone hugging her.

_She was on top of someone._

She must've fallen asleep last night on Alex's couch. She recalls being drunk as hell but that doesn't explain the warm body beneath her.

Then, Kara takes a breath and she is assaulted by the most comforting scent on Earth.

_Lena._

At that thought, Kara immediately blinks awake and tries to contain a gasp as her eyes open to the sight of Lena's sleeping face. Lena was still asleep; Kara on top of her whilst both of Lena's arms wrap securely around Kara's waist, as if to hold her there.

Kara's mind short-circuits at the sudden onslaught of mental images popping up in her mind. She remembers arriving at Alex's and panicking when she saw Lena. She remembers Nia pulling her aside and giving her a drink. She remembers drinking. She remembers getting drunk. She remembers almost falling to her face and-

_"Hey! You look like my best friend."_

_Oh._

_Oh, no._

Kara's brain was now scrambling to a panic.

_"Ten seconds."_

_"Yeah. You're not selfish, Kara."_

_"Can you keep another secret?"_

_"It's her brother."_

_"Lex?"_

_"Yes."_

Lena must've noticed a change in her breathing and Kara's tense, wiggly movements because in less than 5 seconds Lena also blinks awake. Kara stays quiet; unmoving and silently observing Lena as consciousness dawns on her. She was too scared to move. After all, this is the first time that they've seen in each other for months and here Kara was, already fucking it up by getting drunk and falling asleep on top of her best friend.

_(Ex-best friend?)_

She doesn't even remember how she fell asleep. How had Lena let Kara fall asleep on her? Why did she let her? How had the conversation ended? So does Lena know? About the threat? About Lex? Did Kara really blurt it all out in a drunken stupor?

_Rao, what a shitshow._

"Mm, morning." Lena's sleep-laden voice made her freeze. _Rao, how long has it been since they had a proper sleepover?_

"Hi." Kara mutters quietly, still unmoving as she watches Lena remove one arm from her waist to rub sleepily at her eyes.

"Does your head hurt?" Kara still doesn't know what to do. She thinks she should probably answer Lena and tell her she needs one of those DEO alien hangover pills from Alex's medicine cabinet, but she's frozen and confused and is suffering a hangover.

A very, very, major hangover.

_I'm going to kill Nia._

"Alex told me to give you some pills if you woke up with a headache." Lena says, stifling a yawn. "And if you're wondering where they all are, they left to get breakfast and-" Lena spoke calmly as if aware of how Kara is feeling; as if aware that Kara's mind was looking for Alex, for Sam, for anyone who can rescue her from this situation right now. 

If Kara was being honest and real right now, she knows that Lena is very much aware of how Kara is feeling. She is her best friend after all, she knows how to read Kara, knows what she's feeling and knows exactly what to give.

Kara waits for Lena to continue talking, being brave and looking directly at her friend's eyes; pretending that the warmth seeping in from Lena's body to hers isn't affecting her.

"-to give us time to _talk._ " Lena finishes and waits for Kara to reply.

Lena wonders if Kara remembers anything at all from last night. Does Kara remember how she told Lena everything; how she thought Lena was a stranger that looked like her best friend? Was Kara aware of how they ended up in this exact sleeping arrangement? Would she like to talk about what happened? Or would this finally be the breaking point for their friendship?

Lena has so many questions she needs answered. But Kara looks like she might cry right now, _and oh, God, I really need caffeine before all of this._

"Talk, yeah-uhm talk. I-uh, I don't remember much from last night." Kara admits and she burrows her head in the space between Lena's neck and the couch pillow, which was a mistake because she can now smell Lena's scent stronger than before and it is messing with her brain.

"I uh-I remember getting drunk and mistaking you for erm-a person who resembles Lena, which is pretty funny," Kara lets out a nervous laugh, muffled by the cushions. Lena feels the vibrations course through her and tries to will her heart to calm down.

"Yeah, it was a bit funny." Lena agrees, "But you don't remember the rest?"

"Uhm, they're a little fuzzy. I remember telling you I missed you." At that, Kara raises her head and forces herself to look at Lena's eyes again to show her how genuinely she had truly missed her and that last night was real.

"I remember telling you, you're my sun." Kara continues and Lena is trying so hard to contain her emotions inside right now, because Kara was piercing her soul with those blue eyes and she has nowhere to escape.

And then Kara's voice turn from sincere to shy, "But-uh, I don't remember falling asleep. Or how this-" Kara frees one of her hand to gesture, "happened."

Lena takes a deep breath to steel herself for the upcoming conversation. She has to tell Kara everything that happened last night, and she has to talk about the entire situation regarding Lex.

_God, it was such a mess._

"Well, why don't we start light?" And then, Kara feels Lena shift as if she was planning to sit up so they can talk like proper adults. Kara feels herself panic. She doesn't want Lena to move. She wans to prolong this position as long as possible; knowing that by the end of this talk things will change. She might never get this chance to be this close to Lena again, so she decides to be brave.

"Wait, can we-uh just stay like this? I just-I missed you. And I know things aren't really the same. But can we at least have this?" Kara asks, voice small but sincere.

Lena takes one look at Kara and she knows she can't refuse.

There's a beat of silence.

"Yeah, okay. Sure." Lena says, and then adds, "And uhm I uh- I missed you too. Just so you know."

Kara can't help the tiny spark of hope that shouts that maybe, maybe they'll be okay.

"So, uh-how did we end up here? Asleep. On Alex's couch?" Kara asked, peering into Lena's eyes.

"Well, uh okay. Remember how drunk you were? Alex was forcing you to move to the bed. You didn't want to-" Lena paused as if unsure if she should continue. Kara tried not to show her anxiousness show.

"You said, you'd only sleep if I were next to you." Lena finished, Kara didn't know what to do with that.

* * *

Her heart was racing from what Kara had just said.

And now, Alex--with Sam and Kelly--had stridden in to the living room from wherever hiding place they came from. Lena wasn't stupid. She knew Alex had been listening in. She knows that all of them was left in the dark and was just as curious as Lena was. She couldn't fault them for eavesdropping. To be frank, right now? She was grateful that they had eavesdropped because she has no idea how she was going to break that news to Alex; or Sam it seems like, for that matter

Alex had a tight expression on her face. Sam was giving Lena this look that meant _'You and I have a lot to discuss,_ _later.'_ That look was reserved for business meetings, where she and Sam need a secret language to gang up on treacherous investors. Kelly just gave her a sympathetic look.

But before any of them can address the elephant in the room, Kara speaks up again; loudly.

"Sam!! Have I told you how much I missed you?!" Kara then shoots up from the couch almost trips over the coffee table and then wraps herself around Sam.

"Yes. Yes you did. I missed you too." Sam's voice was tight, probably because the Kryptonian has her in death grip. Alex sees the situation, turns to Lena sighs—as if she wants to say more—but relents and helps Sam break free from Kara instead.

"Thanks." Sam mutters breathlessly, Kara turns to Alex then, "Heyyyy! Why'd you do that?! I was only hugging SAAaam." Kara's words were slurring more than before now.

"You were hugging her too tight, Kara. She's human remember? And humans are?"

"Fragile.” Kara answers, “Humans are fragile." She finishes like a child that has been chastised; like she's been asked this question way too many times before and she really doesn't like the answer.

"Yeah, that's right." Alex coos, "We better get you to bed, Sam needs to sleep and you do too. Come on," Alex starts to guide Kara. But Kara moves away from her, quick as lightning and then whines, "Noooo, I don't want to go to bed."

"Kara," Alex starts, "Nooo, I'm going to fly to L-Corp first."

At that Lena's head immediately shoots up from where she’s sat on the couch. Alex meets her eyes and there's a moment of understanding.

"Kara, you can't fly right now. You're drunk." Alex reasons but somehow ‘drunk Kara’ is more stubborn.

"Then you drive me there! Come on then, Alex. I gotta see Lena. We just have to be very, very, very quiet though. So she doesn't know we're there." Kara exclaims but then whispers the last part like some secret instruction.

"Kara, Lena probably isn't at L-Corp anymore. You can go tomorrow. For now we have to get you to bed." Alex tries to make her sister listen to reason.

"NooOoo! I know her, Alex. She's probably overworking herself. I just-please? I have to see her." Kara breathes out, and Lena isn't shocked that Kara still knows that if it were any normal night, she would still be at L-Corp, 'probably overworking herself.'

She sees Alex throw her a pleading look from across the room.

Lena stands from where she is, and walks to where Kara and Alex were.

"Hey, Kara," She starts and Kara's eyes flick up to hers and there's a brief flash of recognition.

"Lena?"

"Yeah."

"You're here?"

"Yeah, this is Sam's party remember?"

Kara's eyes go from hers to Alex's and then Sam's and then realization dawns on her.

"You're here. You're really here." Kara whispers as if in awe.

"I am." Lena answers; trying to keep the emotions off of her voice.

The next thing Kara does makes Lena's breathing stop. She moves forward and throws both arms around Lena. Lena is then enveloped by warmth and Kara's scent and for a moment everything is right with the world.

"You're here. You're here." Kara chants as she tightens her grip. Lena panics for a moment that Alex would realize that Kara's grip was tighter than normal and force them to break apart.

But no Alex comes between them and for a few short moments it was just she and Kara locked in a long overdue embrace.

Lena makes the mistake of opening her eyes and realizes that Sam and Kelly has now left the room—probably thought it was a good idea to leave them alone—it was only Alex now.

And so, Lena tries to be the bigger person. She pulls away slowly but not completely, just enough so she can cup Kara's face and make Kara listen to her.

"Hey, darling, as much as I like hugging, we need to get you to bed." She says, careful not to trigger Kara's already emotional state.

To both her and Alex's surprise, Kara just answers with an, "Okay. Yeah."

She starts to guide Kara back to the couch and then she hears Alex tell her that she was just going to get a couple of pillows and a blanket for Kara.

Once Alex was out of the room, she lets Kara lay back down on the couch. And then Alex was back all too soon and she's passing Kara a pillow and Lena knows that it's probably time for her to leave now.

There's a lot to think about tonight. Not to mention she most certainly needs to talk to Alex, the DEO and the rest of L-Corp's security team. It was going to be a fucking busy day tomorrow and Lena just wants to go home, now.

She looks at Alex and Kara from a moment. She was just a few steps away from them. Alex was tugging the blanket higher. Kara was whispering something.

She needs to say a few words to Alex before she leaves though. But then, Alex's head turn to her and she calls for her, "Lena."

"Yes?"

"Kara has something to say to you." Alex lets out and there's this _look_ to her that Lena knows she should add to the already long list of thing she needs to talk to Alex about.

Lena moves forward and kneels by the couch's side so she can hear Kara clearly. Lena Luthor on her knees, what a sight.

"What is it, Kara?" She asks, slowly.

"Stay."

* * *

"Oh."

"Yeah. That's uh-that's what happened. You asked me to stay. We didn't want you to throw another fit. So Alex just lent me some sweats and then you fell asleep not long after."

Lena explains, and then looks to Kara who was still oh-so-conveniently draped on top of her. Lena would be lying if she says she's not enjoying this.

She knows she was being weak letting herself be with Kara like this. But she cannot help herself. Every night ever since their fallout Lena had lain in bed wondering when she can Kara have like this, if she can ever be this close to Kara again.

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense."

Kara looks at her, unsure but eyes bright; as if to ask, _what now?_

“You promised me, that you weren’t going to lie to me again.” Lena lets the statement hang in the air.

“Don’t even try to say you did it to protect me, Kara.” At that, Kara bolts out from their position, sits up and then exclaims, “But I did! I did it for your protection, Lena.”

Lena closes her eyes, sits up as well and then lets out a sigh, “Kara, this is my life. I get to decide whether or not a decision will keep me safe or not. You don’t get to decide that for me. And you don’t get to lie to me again.” Lena stated, her voice sounding tired.

“I needed to keep you safe.” Kara begins, “If I had told you the truth you would have gone to drastic measures and Lex would’ve easily found a way to take you down. I didn’t want you making any movements. It was me he threatened and it was me who needed to deal with it.” Kara speaks methodically, making sure that Lena was listening to her. She needed Lena to know that she didn’t do this to hurt her.

“And you didn’t even think for a moment, that we’re a team? That maybe if you would have just told me the truth, told me your fears then maybe I wouldn’t do something as drastic as you’re implying? That maybe I might’ve actually listened to you and helped you to fight? To figure out a plan? God, Kara I thought we were better than this.” Lena exhales, rubbed at her temples and looks to Kara again; who was fiddling with the edges of the blanket.

“I thought we were past being martyrs and self-sacrificing idiocy. I can’t comprehend how you even reached that decision. How easily you just cut me off like that; Kara how could you do that?” Okay, that statement stung. Kara feels her throat get tight with repressed emotions.

“It wasn’t easy. Rao, it was so hard, you have no idea, Lena. I didn’t want to cut you off. I—“

Lena cuts her off, “Save it. Tell me, did you even at least get a lead? That you are now close to capturing Lex? Tell me that those fucking months weren’t for nothing.” Lena demands. Lena was fuming now, she was fuming and hurt and God, there are unshed tears shining in her eyes right now.

“I’ve tracked down all of Lex’s underground operation. I was going to tell Alex this week. So the DEO can help.“ Kara voices out; blue eyes avoiding Lena.

“Were you ever going to tell me? Were you even going to call for my help? Were you even going to let me know that my brother is once again involved?”

“I was going to go to you after.” Kara mutters, “After we had caught Lex. I was planning to confess everything to you.” She clarifies and her eyes bore through Lena’s that Lena can’t help staring straight back.

“So, what? You were just going to tell me when everything was already over? You were just going to pretend that nothing happened; that you had played hero and saved me once again. Was that it? Was that the plan?” Lena spat, she can’t help it. She’s so angry and so scared at the implication of what Kara had said. Kara would be heading into danger—danger that her brother had caused—without Lena knowing; without Lena knowing that Kara was going to be hurt. How can Kara just treat this so lightly? How did she think it was okay to head into danger at Lena’s expense and think that Lena would be fine with it?

Lena would never be fine at the thought of something harmful coming Kara’s way.

“No, Lena. That wasn’t—no. I—“ _Rao, how had all this go so wrong?_ “I wanted to tell you after, because I wanted to make sure that Lex was gone for good before contacting you again. I needed to make sure you were totally, completely safe before being with me again.” Kara says it so desperately, like her voice was pleading to make Lena listen to her side of the story.

But Lena was hurt; months and months of no contact, of letting her blame herself for the fallout. For three months she had thought she had done something wrong again that made Kara turn away. How was she supposed to be just okay with it?

“Still! That isn’t enough reason to cut me off! I know you were scared but I thought you trusted me enough to know everything.” Lena raises her voice, “Because, Kara if someone had threatened me, my first instinct would be to tell you, to fight for you, to show you ‘El Mayarah’ for fuck’s sake. It’s your goddamn family motto, Kara! You taught me that.” Kara flinches and in that moment she wishes she could take it all back.

“You made me believe I did something wrong, Kara. You made me believe that I wasn’t ever going to see you again. Do you know how much that hurts?” Lena croaks out and she hates how weak her voice sounds.

Kara’s tears finally fall and her voice finally breaks, “Lena, I’m so, so sorry. I-I didn’t want to hurt you. I swear I- I was just trying to keep you safe.”

“Maybe you did keep me safe from Lex. But you did hurt me. You made it hurt like hell.” It hadn’t occurred to Kara that the one thing she needs to keep Lena safe from was Kara, herself.

The words hang in between them and Lena is waiting for Kara to say something but all she hears are soft sniffles and Lena cannot take this anymore. So, she steels herself, breathes in deep, she knows this drill; she had done this in the conference room so many times before.

Deep breaths, neutral voice and a sharp cutthroat statement, “I’ll be going into the DEO today, we’ll proceed with the operations with me on board, whether you like it or not. Lex needs to be stopped and I don’t fucking care if it costs me my life.” She sees Kara’s eyes widen at Lena's words and she looks like she was about to protest but Lena remains undeterred, “Call Alex, tell her I want a briefing as early as possible.” Lena then stands and leaves a stunned Kara on the couch.

She gets her things and her clothes from last night and she hears Kara’s panicked shuffling from behind her.

“Wait, Lena wait no—just wait come on, that’s it?”

“Yes, Kara, that’s it. We take Lex down, you play hero, the world is saved once again. That’s it.”

“But what about—what about _us?”_

“You should’ve made those ten seconds, fifteen.” Lena knows it was cruel.

But she was a Luthor, she had no time to lose, no tears to shed and a brother to defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised to update this week sorry if this came in a bit late. And also, if anybody wants to know the 10 seconds thingy is inspired from the Filipino movie "One More Chance"   
> Ya know that one scene where Popoy waits outside? And counts 10 seconds and waits for Basha to turn and she doesn't, so Popoy leaves but at the 12th second Basha turns and Popoy's already gone? Yep. Dat scene. Sorry for the rambling. Tell me ur thoughts at the comments tho. I like hearing from u guys! Hope u like it!

**Author's Note:**

> So! I decided to make another fic. This is probably gonna be about 3 chapters. Very short yes, but full of feels I promise ya! Anyway, leave me a comment or come yell at me on tumblr: https://from-a-recklesswriter.tumblr.com/
> 
> Or twitter: @rcklsswrtr02


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